Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat

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(631): View more from New York

guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple

(1-631): View more from New York

whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?

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(713): View more from Texas

then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate

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(817): View more from Texas

I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.

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(646): View more from New York

if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.

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(917): View more from New York City

Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?

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