covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
