So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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