So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
