Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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