things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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