Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
a search helicopter?!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
