On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
