I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
