Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Randomize
