Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
