He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My dick has a subreddit
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
