My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
