you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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