the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
