we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
