woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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