I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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