you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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