In the future we'll all be gay
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
