If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
