3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
