Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
