2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just high enough for therapy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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