I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
