That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
