if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
