there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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