her vagine was all disorganized.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
