Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
