the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
