is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
