I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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