New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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