So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
