I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
