i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
