If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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