i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
