YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
