idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
