you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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