I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
