they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Semen is not good for contacts.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
