Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
