They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
