It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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