Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
