she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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