I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
